Personally Speaking...
- Fr. Tony J. D'Souza, SJ (Provincial)

Recently I watched a movie titled: ‘The Bucket List’.  It is a story of two men suffering from terminal cancer who find themselves together in a hospital ward.  One is a mechanic and the other is a rich businessman.  They are given six months to a year to live. Over time, they grow close to each other and both make a list of things they want to do to enjoy life.  They set out together. When they are in Egypt, the mechanic says to the other: “The ancient Egyptians had a beautiful belief about death.  When their souls got to the entrance of heaven the gods asked them two questions.  Their answers would determine whether they were admitted or not.”

Have you found joy in your life?
Has your life brought joy to others?

I was very touched by the movie and challenged by the poignant questions.  I think these two questions sum up our mission in this world and resonate with our Jesuit call to live the triptych of GC 35.

As we advance in years, we notice changes in our body: increased aches and pains; the middle age paunch, the greying at the temples, the lowering of energy, the lessening of muscle tone, loss of hair. The evidence that our body is ageing is staring us in our face.  It is an invitation to explore our fear of death and investigate our relationship with life.

No wonder, Tony de Mello used to say that, “there is no reality as powerful as death to help us understand the meaning of life”.  Now I understand more clearly why in the novitiate we were asked to meditate on death during our monthly recollection.  It was a call to investigate our relationship with life.

Have I found joy in my life?
This is a question many of us are likely to answer in the affirmative.  But some deeper reflection will make us realize that that there is a difference between joy and happiness.  Happiness is transient and passing.  We feel happy when we succeed, when things go our way, when a particular task is accomplished.   But joy is enduring, sustaining even amidst difficulties.  Have I experienced real abiding joy in my life?  We also will realize that its source is within rather than without.  It comes from our spirituality – our union with the Lord. 

Has my life brought joy to others?
This is a tougher question to answer because it takes us down memory lane and challenges us to look at our relationships over the years – relationships with family, relatives, companions, community members, people we have encountered in our ministry/mission.

Am I a joy-giving person?  One way to find out is to try and see myself through the eyes of others.  What do I discover about myself?

Fred was diagnosed with a terminal disease and it was confirmed by some other doctors.  With initial denial, he came to grips with the fact that he was only going to live a few more months.  “Then something amazing happened,” he said.  ‘I simply stopped doing everything that wasn’t essential, that didn’t matter.  I started working on projects …stopped arguing with my mother….. I stopped getting upset as in the past.  I just didn’t have the time to waste on any of that.’ At the end of this period, he got a very different diagnosis:  He had a rare form of a very curable disease.  Fred said, ‘When I heard this over the phone, I cried like a baby – because I was afraid my life would go back to the way it used to be”’

The final question I can ask myself is:  What can I do differently to experience joy in my life today?  What can I do differently to bring joy to others today?  Now is the time.