(The AICUFer is a publication of the Aicuf unit based at St. Xavier's College, Mumbai. Since many may not get their hands on a copy of this magazine, we will be putting up articles from The AICUFer for you!)

Learning to Strive (Frankline Colaco SJ)

We are born in an unjust society. It makes us think and act in a certain way. Due to which a person goes through a series of positive and negative experiences. As a result we very often think negative, feel depressed, miserable, uncared for and useless. Finally we ask ourselves, “Why am I like this? Why is it like this with me? Why me?” I too went through the same feelings but one experience changed my whole thinking and made me think positively of life.

As part of my studies, I was sent to the Senior Remand Home at Nashik. The very words ‘Remand Home’ scared me. I never thought that I would get a chance to go to the Remand Home. I was only told that the prisoners were boys ranging from 12 to 19 years. I was going there to teach them English and Maths. 

At first there were disturbing thoughts like- who were these boys? How would they respond to me? I went with one of my companions to the senior remand home. We passed through a big gate. The sight of the prison made me more scared. We reached the place where these boys were. It was a huge place with a lot of security personnel. The boys were locked up in two cells as there were very few of them. The other cells were used as class rooms.

We got few boys from the 1st and the 5th standard. I took the first standard boys and began to teach them. While dealing with them I felt happy for they were good and interested in learning.  As the days passed we became friends. I used to join them in playing games. They used to fool around and pass comments on the crimes they had committed. Their language was coarse but surprisingly they never used this language with me.

At times they used to share with me about their life and how they landed there. Their stories really melted my heart. They had gone through lots of struggles, hardships, difficulties, injustice, rejections and ill treatment. Their social situations and circumstances made them commit crimes. Some wanted to reform themselves and start a new life. This was rather difficult but not impossible. Their great desire to change could be seen through their hard work. They were learning various skills like stitching, music and drawing.

Some of the inmates still wanted to take revenge from the people responsible for their situation. It was very difficult to console them, because they were greatly wounded. Once a boy, Rajesh (name changed) told me about himself. From his sharing I realized that he was greatly disturbed. As he was approaching the end of time in prison, many thoughts troubled him such as, “What am I going to do? Will my parents and society accept me and treat me as I am today?” I tried to convince him that society would accept him and would give him a chance to start a new life.

In spite of all the difficulties and inconveniences some made great efforts to educate themselves. Some of them were studying for the first time. It was a real challenge to teach them. They had lots of difficulties. At times they could not grasp anything. Yet they did not give up but persevered. Their interest made me a creative person and made me do more than what I would have normally done.

Those, who were good in studies, were helping others. I was amazed to see their progress. It seemed to me that they wanted to show that their past was history, and all the negative experiences of the past had made them strong to fight against all the difficulties that would come in the way of starting a wonderful life. They had lot of hopes and a positive attitude towards life.

As I looked at these experiences, my attitude towards life changed. It made me think positively. Their lives inspired me to face the challenges of my life.